I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
