Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
