i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
