omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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