ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
