Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Pooping to opera.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
