"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You ate ashes out of my bong
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
