What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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