Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
