I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
