Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
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