Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
a search helicopter?!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Randomize
