I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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