Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
