did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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