Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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