Yo dont text me then not text me
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
