she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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