Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
