I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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