Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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