I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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