i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
