I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Boobs are out for the taking
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
