you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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