In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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