don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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