I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
