Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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