can we get nightvision for the apartment?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
