he shaved USA in his pubs
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
