I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
it's like iHOP with fire
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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