thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
