that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I intend to get homeless drunk
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
