hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
