his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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