I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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