Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
