y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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