i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
