at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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