No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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