Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
