So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Is it because I queefed?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
