Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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