I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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