god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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