apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
