Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
