just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
