i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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